


I Scream, You Scream, we all Scream for Starscream

by espioc



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007), Transformers Generation One, Transformers: Armada, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Humor, the most crack thing to ever grace these pages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 13:51:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10515042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espioc/pseuds/espioc
Summary: six Starscreams walk into a room...





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is. All I know is that it's awful and I regret nothing.

None of them were entirely sure how they got there, but figuring it out wasn’t their top priority. Starscream sat back in one of the chairs. He watched as the five familiar bots smacked at the walls and tugged at the door handle. The door remained locked, of course, but that didn’t seem to stop every one of them from trying over and over and over and over.

Well, at least they were persistent.

Starscream had given up on getting out long ago. Two hours ago now, according to his clock. If they were going to get out it certainly wouldn’t be anytime soon. Any time _soon_ had passed two hours ago.

One of the trapped bots stared broodingly at the door. Another slammed on the walls screaming to be released. That one had been at it the entire time. The other one who’d been screaming eventually gave up on his screech and kicked bitterly at the walls, occasionally demanding to be let out. The fourth of the trapped bots paced about the room muttering angrily. He occasionally smirking to himself but otherwise kept away from the others.

The fifth of their group didn’t seem worried at all. He sat back in one of the seats flipping through a datapad. Every once in a while he went to the door and tugged at the handle, but didn’t seem bothered by it’s lack of response. At one point, past the two hour mark, he let out an overly dramatic, very loud, exasperated sigh. He sank deep in his chair as the air left his vents. His eyes flicked to land on the other seated seeker. “So,” he practically yelled over the screeching. “What are you in for?” he asked, scooting up and leaning forward.

Starscream stared half-heartedly at the fellow prisoner. He puffed a stiff hum, setting his gaze straight ahead. “Probably everything,” He muttered, checking the nubs of his fingers. “I suppose that’s what I get,” he flipped his hand around the get a better look, flattening his palm to the air. “Someone will come do something with us eventually I’m sure.” he sighed, getting impatient with their captor. “Until then we’ll have to endure the screeching.”

The other bot hummed out a laugh. “We really should be used to it by now.”

Starscream shot him a glance. “What do you mean?”

“I mean it’s not as though the screeching is anything _new_ to any of us.”

Starscream scowled. Another comment about his voice. The scowl eased as the words settled, however, and he realized the bot said ‘us’ and not ‘you.’ Strange. Never heard that one before. Though Starscream had to admit they all seemed to carry a similar range. Rough, whiny, like they’d smoked a thousand cygars and took a shot of helium to top it off. The worst among them was the bright white and red flyer yelling his spark out. The worst after that was the purpley one. Starscream hadn’t really heard anyone else, but he could guess, by overwhelming evidence, that whoever their captor was he had a _type._ And that type was red seekers with raspy voices and gray heads. The only one who seemed to disprove the theory was the pacing one. He was gray and, from what Starscream could tell, possessed a relatively smooth voice. Certainly different.

The most talkative of the group seemed to have a similar thing going on. His voice was smooth but followed the same course of roughness.

Starscream was drawn from his thoughts when the bot who had been brooding begrudgingly took a seat adjacent from him in the circle. The mostly red bot still had a hard scowl on his face as he stared at the floor, stuck in his own head.

Gradually over the course of the next two hours everyone came to sit in the circle. Everyone but the screecher that is.

“Oh, will you give it up already!!” the brooder yelled, finally getting tired of the incessant screaming.

The bot stopped in his demands and turned sharply to the bot who dare question him. “Cowards!” he roared, his voice piercing everyone’s audio receptors. “You’re going to let them hold us in here forever!”

The calmest among them took a break from filing his claws and shrugged. “Eh, probably not,” he returned to his former task. “I doubt anyone could stand to have us all in one place forever,” he blew a bit of dust from his tallon. “We’ll be let out soon enough. Whether it be by our own hand or theirs. Starscream never stays trapped, you all should know that better than _anyone.”_

Everyone cocked a brow. The seeker elaborated, seeing that his colleagues didn’t understand. “ _We._ The Starscream’s, we’re hard to beat, I should know,” he put a hand proudly to his chest. “I’m you. All of you.”

“ _Please,”_ the first seated seeker puffed. “There is only _one_ Starscream, and that’s-”

“Me,” they all said in unision.

An expression of surprise jumped upon all of their faces as they looked around at each other. “I am Starscream!” they yelled. They emitted a growl before repeating the statement. After a third time around a few of them began to scream. A small riot broke out among them. It only stopped when someone began to laugh.

The calm one chuckled, drawing everyone’s attention.

The brooding one scowled. “What’s so funny?” he snapped.

“You’re all are so funny,” he answered. “It’s obvious, isn’t it? We’ve all been kidnapped from our respective universes!” it sounded like a eureka moment but everyonr just stared on in confusion. The proud seeker fell. “Come on,” he urged. “Haven’t any of you heard of the multiverse?”

The grey one huffed. “Only in fiction.”

A few let out a stiff dismissive ‘pah!’ while others simply groaned at the concept.

The laid back one shook his head with a light laugh. “Of course, of course, _fiction,”_ He filed another claw for a second before abandoning the task to speak. “Alright, everyone, if you think you’re so smart, which I know you all _do,_ then answer me this. If the multiverse doesn’t exist then why do we _all_ know who _Megatron_ is?”

Everyone seemed to perk to attention. The one who’d only recently stopped screeching pulled out a chair and fell stiffly into it, eyeing the smart mouthed mech. “Of course I know who _Megatron_ is! I am his second in command!!”

“Fool!” the purple one roared. “I, Starscream, am the Mighty Megatron’s _loyal_ second in command!”

“What!?” the grey one screeched. “How _dare_ either of you try to pass yourselves off as his second. Only I, Starscream, am even _suited_ to serve as the second of the great Lord Megatron.”

The brooding spoke up. “You are his second?” he asked in a tone similar to amazement.

“Of course!” the screamer roared. “And as soon as I eradicate that chrome headed fool, _I_ will be the leader of the Decepticons!”

The purple one poked him in the chest. “ _Hey_ that’s _my_ title to steal, you cheap knock off, get your own!”

The laid back one was laughing so hard he was nearly on the floor. “Oh Primus!” he wheezed. “Stop, stop! You all are going to kill me!” he let out a few more thick laughs before taking a deep vent to ease himself.

“Nobody laughs at Starscream!” the screecher roared.

“Oh, believe me honey, _everyone_ laughs at Starscream.”

The brooder looked to the only one of them who’d stayed silent through the ordeal. “What about you?” he asked. “Are _you_ second in command as well?”

The silent one let slip a small smirk. “Not any more,” under his breath. “Thank Primus,” his smirk broadened. “In fact, I’m the ruler of Cybertron.”

Everyone was visibly taken aback, eyes wide. The purple one sneered. “Well, now we all know you’re a liar. The Autobot _scum_ rule Cybertron, with their _Magnus_ and their _council._ The weaklings.”

“Fool!” the screaming one screeched. “Cybertron belongs to the Decepticons!”

“Idiots,” the grey one growled. “Cybertron is still a dead world. Ravaged by our war. You’d have to be delusional to think anything otherwise.”

Broodings eyes dimmed. “It has been so long since I’ve returned to Cybertron.”

They sat in silence for a moment before the laid back smirked. “Now do you believe me?”

The first to sit hummed a stiff laugh, crossing his arms. “That we’re all from this--” he waved a hand around. “Multiverse you speak of,” he smirked. “You’ll have to do better than that.”

Laid back shrugged. “Understandable. We never were the trusting type.”

“Look at you,” the brooder nearly growled. “You act so smart. So high and mighty. But what do you know?”

“A lot, actually. I am you after all. _All_ of you. It’s my duty to know. I know things even you don’t know.”

Purple let out a loud “Ha!” and stomped over to the the bot in question. “Oh that’s rich. Alright smart mech,” he bent down and poked the bot in the chest. “If you’re so smart, then tell me something about _me_ something only _I_ would know,” he stood up straight, a satisfied smirk setting itself on his face.

“You hit on a clone of yourself,” he answered immediately, matching the smirk.

The purple one seemed surprised. His red eyes went wide. “That-- you have no proof of that!” he squealed, then stomping back to his seat and sitting down with a huff.

“And you,” the bot with all the answers pointed to the gray one. “You lost you t-cog to a bunch of humans,”

“Ah-ha!” gray called. “ _I_ am not the only one who knows about that.”

“Maybe. But they don’t know how you replaced it.”

The seeker went stiff. He tried to cover it with a sneer. “Oh yes, and I’m sure you do,” he drawled, waving a sharp hand about.

“You stole it from the last living clone you created to kill Megatron.”

The stiffness returned. Grays wings fell with his shoulders. He grumbled something no one else could hear.

Laid back turned to his next victims. He pointed to brooding and screecher. “You treated your mini-bots like bots, and not like servants. And you went through a time anomaly that sent you to Camelot, which you then decided to try and take over. You failed, of course, because what else is new.”

His gaze shifted to the last bot. “And you.”

The red jet side eyed him.

“You killed Metalhawk... And you feel _guilty_ about it.”

The victims scowl deepened into a sneer. “Alright,” he said, giving in to this little game. “You got us. Now what?” he pointed a sharp finger at the bot. “You seem to know so much. How do we know it’s not you who's keeping us trapped in here? For some sick little game.”

The accused waved a dismissive hand. “Oh please, I want to get out of here as much as you do, IDW.”

The accusers stiff frame settled slightly with confusion. “What did you just call me?” he asked, cocking a brow.

“IDW, that’s the name of the universe you’re from. I was thinking, since we’re all here, we can’t _all_ just call each other Starscream. It fits, I think.” he drew in slightly. “Unless, of course, any of you have anything better.”

The room lay in silence again.

“I accept it,” the Brooding one spoke up. “What am I to be called?”

Laid back smiled. “Armada, is the sector you’re from.”

He received a stiff nod in response.

The screaming one gave an annoyed sigh. “Fine,” he snapped. “Do what you must, but just remember that _I_ am Starscream the Mighty!”

“Of course, Generation One, I wouldn’t dream of anything else.”

IDW cocked a brow. “A bit long, wouldn’t you say. Why not shorten it?”

The one giving the names rolled his eyes. “Fine. _G-_ One then. G1. Good enough for you _Lord_ Starscream?”

IDW sneered. “Is that what I sound like? How obnoxious.”

The gray one spoke up. “Though this seemingly nefarious situation is not going to be solved through a simple change of names, I suppose I can play your little game.”

“Prime,” the speaker determined, then looking to the last bot. “And you are Animated.”

The purple one huffed. “Don’t kid yourselves. I wouldn’t be caught offline with one of your silly made up designations. _I_ am the one and only _Starscream._ I reserve the right to my own, glorious, and might I say very attractive, name.”

“If anyone is going to be called Starscream it is going to be _me!”_ G1 screeched.

“No one is being called Starscream!” IDW roared, slicing the air with his hand. “That is the _end_ of this conversation. If you don’t like it then go find some corner to cry in.”

Prime let out a small laugh. “And who among us put you in charge?” he challenged.

IDW leaned closer to the bot beside him. “I was elected by the citizens of Cybertron. I was deemed the _Chosen one_ by a _Titan._ What have you done? Oh, that’s right, you got your t-cog stolen by a few measly _humans._ ”

Prime huffed, insulted. “I will have you know that I personally eliminated the Autobot Cliffjumper!”

IDW smirked, leaning in just a bit closer. “And I killed Turmoil. With his own canon,” he patted the now stunned bots cheek. “And the entire council. But keep trying.”  he leaned away, leaving a stiff bot in his wake. “Personally, considering the endless power struggle it would cause, I don’t believe _any_ of us should necessarily be put in charge. I do believe, however, that we should probably start figuring who put us in here, and exactly what we’re going to do to them once we get _out.”_

Armada pointed to the only one without a name. “What do we call you?” he asked, some suspicion slipping into his tone.

“Me? The universe I reside in is fanfiction, but, please, call me Fiction. It has such a better feeling leaving the mouth.”

Prime cut in. “Considering how much this so called ‘fiction’ knows about us, it would stand to reason that _he_ has something to do with this, like our companion IDW originally deduced.”

IDW shot him a glare, but said nothing. He knew that trick, he invented that trick. Though he supposed it was to be expected. They were all Starscream after all.

Fiction smiled sweetly. “Come on, I thought we were all friends here,”

IDW crossed his arms. “Any Starscream knows his worst enemy is himself.” Everyone began to protest. “Oh please,” he snapped. “Don’t kid yourselves. If there’s one thing I know about myself, multiverse or not, it’s that the only reason I’m still alive is because Megatron made _sure_ of it.”

Prime groaned. “He does have a strange habit of doing that doesn’t he?” he grumbled, a steep scowl setting itself on his face.

Armada growled. “You all are getting off topic.”

Animated Agreed. “Yes, yes, we can all talk about the bucket head _after_ we interrogate our friend here.” the words held an implication that everyone was familiar with.

Fiction didn’t seem worried. “You’re all being ridiculous,” he spat. “I’m trapped in here just the same as you.”

“You don’t _act_ like us.” G1 commented

“Yeah, you’re a bit too _calm_ for my taste.” Animated added

Fiction shrugged. “Hey, I range from emotional mess to raving lunatic, take your pick. The fact is, _none_ of us act like _any_ of us. Not entirely anyways. Now will all of you quite whining, you’re giving us a processor ache.”

Nobody seemed to believe him. Fiction slumped, annoyed. “Alright. If _I’m_ the perpetrator than why have I locked _myself_ in here with you?”

“It’s not as though you, of all of us, were trying that hard to get _out,”_ Prime pointed out. “You elected to sit back in your chair and _watch._ While we all did the work.”

“What work? You didn’t even get anywhere! We’re _all_ still locked in here, I’m surprised you aren’t blaming Megatron, or the Autobots! You know, the most _likely_ to pull a stunt like this,” he checked his internal clock and scowled. “We’ve been here for five hours, I’m just as annoyed as all of you. I’m just more used to dealing with it.”

The scowls remained one every ones faces, but they all still seemed to believe him, although reluctantly.

“I believe you,” Armada admitted honestly. “But what are we going to do?”

Animated showed off his claws. “I think we should take this opportunity to tear the place apart.”

IDW pinched his brow. “Dear Primus, help me,” he muttered. “Didn’t you all just spend the last _five hours_ trying to tear your way out of here? Have you learned nothing?”

Prime nodded. “Our resident Chosen one here is correct. Whatever this is it will eventually come to an end. The captor will come to us, make his demands, and when he does,” he heard his claws. “We’ll have him right in our grasp.”

IDW rolled his eyes. “You talk a big game, Prime, and I’ve considering commending you for it,” he poked his fellow Starscream in the chest. “Then I remember how _pitiful_ you are and I reconsider.”

Animated smirked. “We all see what you’re doing, Prime, you’re playing the praise game. A solid move, but done very badly.”

Prime huffed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“Don’t play dumb!” G1 nearly shrieked. “You’ve picked the most powerful person in the room, incorrectly I might add, and you’re trying to get on his good side so that you can earn his trust and turn around and betray him later. Don’t be stupid, we’ve _all_ done it!”

IDW leaned over, getting uncomfortably close to the Prime, hiding his embarrassment weakly. “You can’t out Starscream a Starscream, Starscream. And the jokes on you, I have no good side.”

Prime frowned. “Don’t be absurd. Who would try something so-- ridiculous?”

IDW rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, pal.”

“You can’t possibly believe that something so-- obvious would even cross my processor!”

Animated rolled his eyes. “Oh will you give it up already. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

Prime merely glared. It was clear he wasn’t having any effect on these bots. It was very similar to what he had to deal with with the clones, except this time none of them would be keen to follow his orders. Hopefully he could change that by the time they escaped this prison.

Prime felt something bounce against his head. He looked down to find a file laying on the floor beside his pede.  

“Something to occupy your time,” Fiction smirked. “After clawing at the walls for so long, I’m sure those pretty claws of yours could use a good file.”  

Prime sneered at him. “You have an answer for everything, don’t you?” he griped, picking up the object in question. He did something similar to a pout before shrugging and putting the file to his claw. “You know what I wonder? If this really is Megatron or the Autobots doing, than what would they have to gain from putting such brilliant minds all in one room? Surely they can’t think it’s a good idea. It is not as though we’ve been asked to do anything.”

Animated waved a hand. “I don’t care what the end goal is, I’d much rather be figuring out what we’re going to do with our captors once we get our hands on them. Now give me that file,” he snatched the thing from Prime’s hand. “If anyone needs to prepare for tearing out optics it’s _me._ ”

Prime Growled, but was handed another file before things got out of hand.

“I don’t want to say I doubt this is Megatron’s doing,” IDW started. “Because knowing him he _would_ think to do something this far-fetched and stupid, but this feels more like a third party. Considering the circumstances it feels more like something Shockwave would cook up. Though where I come from he’s stuck in a singularity, so the blame falls to your Shockwave’s.”   

Armada shook his head. “I don’t know of anyone named Shockwave. We have a Shock _blast_. If there is any relation.”

“Do you have any _other_ cold mad scientists?”

“Hardly. My team is comprised mostly of idiots to some degree. Excluding Megatron, who is exclusively cruel and over confident in his abilities.”

IDW waved a hand. “I’m sure he’s a complete idiot too, you just haven’t realized it yet.”

Animated threw his hat into the ring. “My Megatron is an idiot,” he commented sharply. Is there a Megatron out there who _isn’t?”_

Prime blew some dust off his claw. “I seriously doubt it,” he muttered.

Fiction raised a finger. “Actually I know of one Megatrons who isn’t an idiot. Relatively anyway.”

G1 leaned forward. “Liar!” he accused.

“No no, it’s true! He’s from the Shattered Glass Universe where The _Autobots_ are the evil ones. They’re deplorable, really, worse than any other universe’s Decepticons.”

IDW cocked a brow. “I find that hard to believe. What is their Megatron like? A real Optimus Prime character I’m sure.”

Fiction hummed. “Better. I hear he actually lets Starscream give him advice,”

They all gasped.

“And he _listens_ to it.”

A louder gasp.

“ _And_ he’s never even raised a hand to the seeker!”

There was an outcry. Seekers were standing from their seats, screeching filled the room, accusations of lying were being thrown. It was chaos.

Fiction laughed successfully at himself. The sweet sounds of chaos.

“If this fantasy living Starscream exists then where is he? Why wasn’t he dragged in here with us?” Prime glowered, standing right before the cause of their outrage.

“Apparently our captor only wanted the _good_ Starscream’s,” IDW smirked, falling back in his chair.

“If that were true I doubt he’d invite the one who calls himself Fiction.”

“Nobody ever said our captor was _smart.”_

Fictions satisfied smirk turned quickly to a scowl. “You just insulted yourself,” he shot back, poking the looming bot in the chest. Prime merely scowled. “You have an answer for everything don’t you?” he droned.

“You already used that one.”

“It still applies,” Prime marched back to his seat and fell into it. “In any case,” he sighed. “As, heh, _appealing_ as such a reality sounds, it’s a bit too soft sparked for my taste.”

IDW stiffened slightly, the scowl on his face growing deeper and he drew in with silent rage. “Do you prefer the taste of blood in your mouth when Megatron beats you into the ground?” he grumbled testily.

Prime sneered at him. “You just know all about that don’t you?”

IDW smirked. “Of course,” he drew out, easing his plating, a mockery in his tone. “I’m you aren’t I? Or some better version of you. All of us have been at the mercy of our leader on at least one occasion. I for one wouldn’t mind if he hadn’t _beaten_ me into _submission._ I wasn’t soft sparked before Megatron, and I’m _certainly_ not now.”

The room fell into silence.

It remained that way for a solid minute.

Until Fiction broke it.

“Well,” he started quietly. “At least we’ve all tried to kill ‘im a fair amount of times.”

“Yeah,” IDW agreed. “Too bad he won’t stay dead.”

Everyone broke out in an agreed sigh of exasperation.

“Don’t even get me started on that fraggers ability to survive!” Animated screeched.

“How many times do you have to destroy an evil warlord before he actually dies!?” Prime complained. “It should be so simple!”

“Even when he _dies_ he just...doesn’t Die!! He was dead for almost an entire cycle when he just came _waltzing_ out of the desert.” IDW added, flinging his hands in the air.

“No matter how many times you shoot him he just won’t stay down!” G1 shrieked.

Armada could only stare at his companions. “You’ve all made an attempt on your leader’s life?” he asked in amazement. “I--” he seemed to be at a loss.

“Of course we have!” IDW called. “What? You haven’t?”

“I-” Armada drew back into his thoughts for a moment. He’d certainly never made an attempt on his commander's life directly. He challenged him, sure, and lashed out a few times. But to actually kill him? That...he couldn’t recall a time when he tried that. “I-” he started again. “As much as I hate the things he’s done to me I...I’ve never tried to kill him, no. Are all of your Megatrons really that bad?”

“I, personally, want him dead so I can take his job,” Animated proclaimed. He waved a hand. “I don’t know about any of you.”

G1 raised an arm. “That is my goal also.”

“Mine as well,” Prime answered. “Though is is also revenge for every deplorable thing he’s put me through.”

Fiction shrugged. “It depends on my mood. Sometimes I try to kill him because now I love someone else and he’ll kill me if I leave, and sometimes I get tired of his sadism and have to kill him to save a planet. Take your pick. Sometimes, and this is rare, I have to _save_ him. I’ve been to the pits and back, literally.”

IDW remained silent.

Everyone looked at him.

“What about you?” Armada inquired. “Just looking for a new title?”

IDW didn’t answer immediately.

Eventually his still plating eased just slightly, though his gaze remained on the floor.

“Something like that,” he muttered.

Armada looked to Fiction. “What about you, what’s your Megatron like? The Megatron of all megatrons I’m sure, I can’t imagine he’s any good to you.”

Fiction seemed almost surprised by the question. His surprise fell into a dream like stare. “Oh, my Megatron is wonderful. Sometimes. Don’t get wrong , he’s an aft, of course, and a raving lunatic with a sadistic streak, and I’ve tried to destroy him more times than I can count...but he can be the most amazing lover.”

Everyone in the room suddenly looked horrified.

“Amazing What!?!” G1 screeched.

Fiction nodded. “Lover. One of many, but really the most prominent of them all.”

IDW cocked a brow. He didn’t want to know, but the question was just so tempting. “Many?” he drawled carefully.

“Oh yes, many,” Fiction pulled a wallet from his subspace and let it fall open. An accordion of pictures folded out and rolled across the floor before coming to an end. “I’ve interface with most of the main bots, as well as a few stragglers...Actually I’ve interface with-- almost everyone.

Everyone leaned over to look at the pictures. Armada grabbed the end of the photos where they stopped at his feet. IDW also surveyed the line, poking at some of the pictures. “My god, you really get around don’t you?” he muttered. “When you say interface, what do you mean?”

Fiction shrugged. “There are a variety of ways, but I personally prefer the spike and valve version.”

“The what and what?” Prime inquired, also leaning over to look at the pictures. Fiction rolled his eyes, dropping the wallet so they could all get a look. “Oh right, I forgot, none of you have that do you? To put it simply it’s a rod and a hole between your legs. Put the rod in the hole, it feels good.”

Everyone grimaced. Animated nearly shuttered. “Eewww,” he drawled, drawing in with disgust. “Like the humans do? Ulgh,” he shook his head trying to purge the thought.

“Megatron and Optimus are probably the largest ones I’ve ever taken. Oh wait, there is Grimlock as well,” the rambling bot ignored the terrified stares and continued talking. He hummed, thinking back to Megatron. “Megatron likes it rough.” apparently Fiction liked talking because he kept at it for a solid five kliks until

“Please! Stop, I beg of you!” Prime pleaded, turning his head away from the rambling seeker.  

IDW had a hand over his mouth. “I think I’m going to throw up,” he groaned, doubling over.

Fiction was not to be deterred. “It’s not always the best,” he scowled. “And sometimes we have little ‘accidents,’” then he smiled. “But I love every one of them.”

IDW, who had gone back to looking through the pictures of Fictions many lovers, absently asked what he was referring to.

“Oh, my sparkling!” Fiction cried happily. “I have...well, I don’t know how many I have.”

G1’s brow furrowed. He ignored the line of photos fallen over his lap. “Your what?” he inquired, confused.

“Sparklings,” it was IDW who answered. “They’re young Cybertronians. All shapes and sizes. All forged. Very annoying.”

“Ah, yes,” Fiction agreed. “But all of my sparklings came from my own spark. Well, except for one, but I had another immediately after who _did_ come from my spark, so, you know,” he waved a hand dismissively, fishing through his sub-space.

Animated shook his head. “I will give you anything to stop talking,” he too ignored the photo line in his lap.

It was too late, Fiction was already pulling out another wallet. It flipped open and rolled to the floor with pictures of every one of his sparklings. He smiled fondly at the row of photos, picking it up off the floor and sifting through them. “Aren’t they cute? A few of them were born from one night stands, but some were on purpose--”

IDW let out a loud ‘Ha!’ interrupting the bot. “Oh you have to be kidding me!” he hollered, throwing his head back for a laugh. “Sunstreaker!? You slept with Sunstreaker?”

Fiction shrugged. “A few times, yes.”

Armada snarled at one of the pictures he found. “Why do you have one of me that that small female human?”

IDW swiped the film from his hands as she quickly went through the line. “I don’t see Megatron anywhere,” he commented.

“Oh, no, you wouldn’t I keep that one separate,” Fiction said, reaching back into his sub-space. “It’s my favorite. Here you go,” he handed the small photo to the inquirer.

As soon as IDW saw the photo his eyes went wide and his mouth fell open. He took in a deep vent.

And screamed.

As loud as he could.

He bolted from his chair, knocking it over as he stood, still screaming. He turned about the room quickly showing the picture to everyone individually before turning it back to his own face.

When he could no longer stand to touch the accursed thing he handed it back to Fiction.

“Burn it! **_BURN IT_ **!!!” He screeched. The seeker began pacing about the room trying to get his head together. The screaming had stopped but the shock had not subsided.

“What?” Fiction asked. “It’s not _that_ bad.”

It was, in fact, that bad.

Fiction sighed, rolling his eyes. He picked up his wallet and with one flick drew the photos back in before tucking it away. “You’re all a bunch of sparkling,” he grumbled. He offered a nail file to the pacing bot. “File?” he asked. “It always helps calm me down.”

“I don’t want your stupid file!” IDW snapped. “I want you to _burn_ that photo. Then burn my processor to eradicate it from my memory banks,” he shuddered thinking back to the image. “I will never unsee that,” he lamented quietly.

Fiction patted the seat the standing bot had been sitting in. “Come on,” he urged. “It wasn’t that bad, sit down. You’re grossly over reacting.”

“And you’re grossly underreacting!” the seeker snapped. “You’re like some-- some-- _toy_ to all your bots, and you don’t even seem to care! And you!” he pointed to Prime. “Grow a Primus damn _backbone,”_ the finger snapped to G1 and Animated. “You two! look, I know my voice is bad but yours are _unbearable._ Please, for everyone’s sakes, _never_ open your intakes again,” then to Armada. “And you,” it was a growl. “You. How can you call yourself Starscream when you’ve never even tried to _kill_ Megatron!” He threw his arms in the air. “Now I know why everyone hates me! Primus, I already hated me! But after this-- _freak show_ I hate every _version_ of me! If I have to spend another hour _stuck_ in this room listening to my own voice. I’m going to lose it!! And I’m already seeing dead people, I didn’t even think that was possible!”

The fuming seeker fell back into his seat, exhausted.

Fiction patted his shoulder. “Feel...better?” he asked.

IDW vented heavily. “No.”

Fiction offered the file once again. This time IDW statched it from his hand and began aggressively filing. “When we get out of here I am going to tear them apart so thoroughly they won’t be able to identify the body,” he grumbled as he sharpened his talons.

The next hour was spent in silence for the most part. Those who could filled their talons. They paced, and sat on the floor, and paced some more. Fiction read through his datapad and stared longingly at the pictures of his sparklings. He just wanted to get back to his babies at that point.

Prime tapped his chin schiming. Animated eventually fell asleep in his seat. Armada took a position lying on the floor with his legs hiked up and leaned on the wall. He remained deep in thought, thinking about what everyone had said about Megatron. He wondered how much of it was true.

Into the second hour of silence IDW and Prime had taken to playing a card game, the cards having been provided by Fiction.

“How do you keep winning?” Prime asked, keeping his voice relatively quiet in the silence.

“I’m cheating,” IDW answered, collecting the cards.

“We’re playing war.”

“You think that’s going to _stop_ me?”

About halfway into the second hour Fiction, who was lying across two seats and looking at the ceiling, broke the silence. “Who’s your favorite seeker?” he asked.

“Me,” everyone answered fairly noncommittally.

“Okay, let me restate that. Who is your favorite seeker _other_ than yourself?”

“Acid Storm,” IDW answered immediately.

Fiction snarled. “Ew, why?”

“Because I met him once and then never had to see him again.”

“Fair enough. What about you, Prime?”

It didn’t take much time for Starscream to answer. “Among my fallen Trine mates Thundercracker was my favorite. I didn’t like him, but I certainly liked him better than _Skywarp._ Little fragger.”

“I like Skywarp...sometimes his pranks were funny.” Fiction smiled fondly, remembering his trine mates. The smile fell a moment later. “I miss them.”

“I don’t,” Prime grumbled absently, then putting down what he thought was the winning card. “Ha! Full house!”

“We’re playing old maid.” IDW reminded him.

“Maybe _you’re_ playing old maid.”

Armada spoke up from his place on the floor. “You know what I hate?”

“Yourself?” IDW muttered, but not loud enough for him to hear.

“That stupid nickname,” Armada continued. “Screamer.”

Everyone groaned.

“Please,” IDW pressed. “Don’t even mention that name to me. I have had _enough_ frustration today.”

Fiction omitted a long, loud, sigh before forcing himself to sit up. “Okay,” he spit out, climbing to his feet. “I, for one, am getting claustrophobic. I’m going to try the door again.” He tried. It was locked. Nothing new.

But then they heard something.

Something eerily similar to gunshots came from somewhere behind the door.

Everyone perked to attention.

They anxiously watched the door waiting for another sound.

“Were those-” Armada started to ask, but was promptly shushed.

Everyone listened.

Again there were gunshots. Armada leaped from his place on the floor. They all listened intently to the fire fight as it grew closer and closer with heavy pedesteps. It grew louder, and louder until-

Silence.

The door slammed open.

“Starscream!” Optimus Prime yelled. He immediately paused upon finding six Starscream’s staring back at him.

Megatron shoved him out of the way. “Out of the way Prime, I need-!” he stopped upon seeing his seeker.

Fiction was on his feet in seconds. “Megatron!” he called, leaping into his arms and knocking him over. They indulged in a kiss for a moment before Starscream pulled away and smacked his Megatron on the top of the head with his fist. “You big dolt! What took you so long!?”

More Megatrons began to step forward to meet their Starscreams.

“Lord Megatron!” Prime seemed surprised when his respective universes warlord stepped into the room. “You-- I mean,” he regained himself upon approaching the scowling figure. He bowed. “Thank you,” he said. “For coming to find me.”

Megatron rolled his eyes. “Spare me Starscream. Had it been up to me I would have left you here for an eternity.”

Starscream faltered. “Of course...Lord Megatron.”

Armada approached his Starscream and saluted. “Starscream,” Megatron greeted. “Quite a mess we’ve gotten into. We’ll have to make up for lost time when we return to our dimension.”

“Of course Lord Megatron.”

“I expect you to be at the top of your game.”

“I would not think to be anything else.”  

The next Megatron to enter roared his seconds name. “What mess have you gotten us into this time!?” he yelled, approaching G1.

“Whatever this mess is!” Starscream shrieked back. “I’m sure it’s _your fault.”_

Animated Ignored his Megatron, and his Megatron did the same.

IDW stayed seated, scowling at the familiar figure approached.

They stared at eachother for a moment.

“Well,” Megatron began. “Are you going to stand or do I have to carry you out of here?”

“Touch me, and I’ll drop you like a bomb.”

Megatron smirked. “Glad to see some things never change.”

“I hate you.”

Optimus stepped a bit further into the room. He approached IDW Megatron and put a hand on his shoulder. “Jazz has informed me we’re almost all through the portals. We need to get moving.”

Megatron gave a stiff nod in response. “Right,” he addressed the crowd. “Alright everyone. We’re moving out. Keep with your Starscreams.”

Everyone began to walk off. IDW Starscream and Optimus were the last to start moving.

“Where are we Prime?” Starscream asked, watching as everyone filled out the door.

“I don’t know,” the deep voice answered. “But I’m sure I would like to never return,” he looked at the seeker. “It wasn’t just you and Megatron. I, along with everyone else it seemed, were stuck in these rooms with their doppelgangers.”

Starscream smirked. “I hope your Fiction wasn’t as obnoxious as ours.”

“Considering he is not a Starscream I can only imagine he was at least relatively better,” Prime answered as they started moving. “But I...really don’t want to think about that right now,” he glanced at the seeker as they scurried down the hall.

Starscream flashed his grin again. “Don’t worry, I’m sure Megatron was just as disgusted as you were.”

They made it to a larger room filled with power cores and big machinery. In the center of it lay ten circular machines that looked remarkably similar to portals.

The Starscream’s exchanged glances.

“Well, as much as I loved the chat, which I didn’t, I’m afraid we have to take our leave.” Prime Starscream announced, taking a bow to his colleagues.

IDW bowed right back. “I hope I never see any of you ever again.”

Fiction scoffed, still practically hanging off his Megatron. “You all with your sentiment. See you all later!” he cried, then was dragged through their designated portal by his overly eager Megatron.  

Armada simply nodded to his colleagues before going through. G1 ignored them all. Animated did the same.

Prime went through, sparing one last glance to IDW.

The last Starscream left on the platform smirked. “What a bunch of saps,” he mumbled, then turning back to Megatron and Optimus. “So,” he started with a smirk. “Which one of you wants to take a crack at this first?” he mocked, gesturing himself.

Megatron pointed at him. “Not funny.” he said sternly before beginning to step into the portal.

“Oh no, very funny.”

Optimus simply ignored the seeker, though his mask hid heated cheeks.

“Did your Megatrons and Optimus tell stories as crude as my Starscream?” he asked as they began their descent into the portal.

“Drop it Starscream!” Megatron demanded.

“...How Many sparklings did _you_ have?”

The two larger bots merely groaned.

  
He was never going to let this go.


End file.
